@MazMHussain: Said it before but someone needs to start a rumor that Muslims don't eat donuts so that people will start sending those to the mosque.
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@bridger_w: If you're behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you're not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
@TravLeBlanc: When the zombie apocalypse comes, we'll be the last to go because we never leave our houses.
@SodomyClown: The worst feeling in the world is being in love with somebody that knows how to untie rope and run away while you're napping.
@AlexvanBeek: Unless: -The house is on fire -The cops are about to kick down the door -Or you're ordering food Do NOT talk to me while I'm on the toilet