@MazMHussain: Said it before but someone needs to start a rumor that Muslims don't eat donuts so that people will start sending those to the mosque.
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@Only_Fast_Eddie: People tell me that I have a unique way of lighting up a room. It's called arson and those people are called witnesses.
@Just_Lee_: Nothing says "We have no faith in our own products" like using a 16 year old girl in your anti-aging cream commercials.
@SortaBad: *looks at selfie* "Hmmm I need more flattering lighting" *tries again inside an unlit abandoned coal mine* "ahhh much better"