@gonzohostility: Said she was gonna send a pic of her "backyard' . Turns out we weren't on the same page
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@TheRolo: [Text convo] Her: Can I come over right now? Me: [Puts entire mess in closet, puts high thread count sheets on bed & sprays Febreeze] Sure.
@itsboyschapter: you never gotta worry about me cheating on you... i might eat something that was yours but thats about it
@pleatedjeans: Global warming is real the number of hot singles in my area has been increasing since 2007 that cannot be a coincidence
@OreoSpeedwagon_: Adopt 25 cats and you'll never be alone. Also melt cheese on things. Not the cats though. -me as a therapist