@SSparklesDaily: Salad is the decaf of food.
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@NervousJr: Friend: your not going to believe this but my whole family was killed in a freak accident! Me: *you're
@Cheeseboy22: Picking up this tiny piece of paper would take 1 second, but instead I am going to run over 100 times with the vacuum at different angles.
@weinerdog4life: Last Halloween I had to explain to everyone that I was not a ghost with a boner, but I was just a ghost and I happened to have a boner.