@KKAlThani: Salad tastes pretty good once you add some Nutella and throw away the salad.
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@BillyCorben: They just got engaged at a hibachi restaurant -- and the chef wrote their initials in rice!
@HumanPog: If I'm ever dangling off a cliff and your hands are full of mikes hard lemonades you better give me one so i can be refreshed on my way down
@better_off_dad: *at the confessional Priest: .'..and do you repent? Do you plan to repeat these sins?' Me: 'You mean, like, ever?'