@BackrowSeats: Salads don't kill people. People who eat salads kill people.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheBeerGuy73: Today I saw a bird shit on somebody for no apparent reason at all. Then I thought of you.
@Playing_Dad: [Batman villain naming meeting] Ok, name the guy who asks all the riddles. "The Riddler?" GENIUS! OK, how about the woman dressed as a cat?
@SortaBad: Me: hi :) Woman at bar: it's loud in here, I'm sorry, did you just say "colon closed parentheses" ???