@DillDoes: Salamanders are the most passive aggressive animal. You grab their tail and they're like "have that one, I don't even want it"
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@FatherWithTwins: I like to torture my kids by buying them a new Xbox game, and then taking them to the zoo all day.
@Sickayduh: *sees commercial* "Talk to your kids about drugs before its too late" "Kiddo. Kitchen. Now" - Yeah? "This is oregano. Don't get ripped off"
@FrankConniff: A lethal injection that takes two hours has no place in a civilized society. And it shouldn't happen in Arizona either.
@IamEnidColeslaw: who gives a shit about how many spiders you eat when you're asleep? I'm worried about how many are getting into the other holes