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@chewlongkok_: Me: C'mon, baby. Just the tip? Her: No! Me: Awww, cmon! Her: No, you're paying the whole bill this time.
@youngestneil: I bet parents get annoyed when their kids ask "are we there yet?" when they're fully aware they now live in a car
@goodersuk74: I got a new stick of deoderant. Instructions said: 'remove cap & push up bottom'. I can barely walk but when I fart the room smells lovely
@VN_Ruben: apparently, Twilight is "so popular" because teenagers can relate to it. Oh yeah, I remember that time when I was a vampire.