@Brentweets: San Andreas is just like Godzilla only Godzilla is invisible
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@evanrhorne: I quit my job today!! The money from that Nigerian king arrives tomorrow, I'm so excited.
@robknepper: Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Give a man who is dangerously allergic to fish a fish and he'll eat for a lifetime.
@KentWGraham: I’m starting to think my wife is only having sex with me to improve her FitBit stats.