@YogiWanKenobi: San Francisco has too many rules
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@SufficientCharm: I have really bad hearing & thought he said "I love turds" but he said "nerds" & now I don't know what to do with this shit in my underwear.
@MrIceMachine: Automatic flusher Automatic soap dispenser Automatic sink Automatic paper towel dispenser N O W T O U C H T H E D O O R H A N D L E
@david8hughes: [watches you eat my bday cake] "I've poisoned that." "Haha very [clasps chest & begins panting] w-with what?" [leans in & winks] "Poison."
@Snarfernini: Me: Let's have a fight with that guy you like Brain: That's not a good idea, he might actually like y... Me: GOOD IDEA! WE ATTACK AT DAWN!