@slimmy_shady: Sandwich: Hi. Barman: Sorry, we dont serve food in here.
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@ErrenMichaels: [a handsome man falls and cuts his hand] Me: *tries to rip the hem of my dress to make a bandage, like a Regency heroine, but I'm too weak*
@brynnester: My wife likes to make love with Barry Manilow in the background. It's as awkward for him as it is for me
@UGotMeRight: You can catch a decent buzz from smoking catnip but don't be surprised if you wake up on top of the fridge.