@Love_bug1016: Santa read your DMs. The only thing you're getting for Christmas is a prayer group on Facebook.
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@bridger_w: If you need a ride to the airport, give me at least two weeks notice so I'll have a chance to clear my schedule and die
@AlmightyBored: I’m not fat. I prefer to think of myself as difficult to abduct and hard to conceal.
@Ygrene: "Please refrain, Angry God, from using the Newspaper of Doom" the Spider King cries as he orders another sacrifice into your sleeping mouth