@Love_bug1016: Santa read your DMs. The only thing you're getting for Christmas is a prayer group on Facebook.
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@robin_991: Dishwasher broke, so now I’m washing them all by hand like some sort of motherless Disney Princess.
@iAmDelFreaky: Doc: Let's check your reflexes. Me: I have the reflexes of a cat. Doc: *hits my knee with a hammer* Me: MEOW! *scratches Doc's eyes out*