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@ndiquote: Satan cannot be everywhere,
So Relatives were created..
@MadGamer79: When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
@KeetPotato: [5 mins after seeing our neighbour's new boat]
wife: "everything's a competition to you"
me: [trying to find the moon on eBay] "no it's not"
@LoveNLunchmeat: When I was 8 yrs old, I walked to school by myself; now you have to hold your kid's hand right up to their first drug deal.
@MrsFancyPants77: Once, just once, I'd like to be able to use the word skedaddling in an everyday conversation.
@markydoodoo: I just saw a girl running without headphones and I feel I should call the police. She might be in trouble.