@ItsAndyRyan: Satan's greatest trick is convincing you he's not real but there's a quality drop-off after that. No. 2 is pretending his thumb is your nose
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@Rollmaninoz: *Shrek pre-production meeting* Producer: Do we have a name for the dragon yet Guy who named the donkey “Donkey”: I was thinking Dragon sir
@TodaysResume: During your interview, try ending every sentence with "dot jpg". "How would you say you handle job pressure?" --Not a problem.jpg
@Rollinintheseat: Kid: "I want to be a doctor when I grow up." Mom: "You can't. Your hands aren't cold enough."