@NoChillPosts: SAVAGE AF LMAOOOOOO
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DothTheDoth: Dracula had it right, sleep all day, live alone in a castle & explode into a thousand bats to get out of social situations.
@FlyJ_: I have 1 calorie left for the day on MyFitnessPal app. I think I’ll eat this fruit fly that’s been annoying me.
@MartaEffing: *hears suspicious noise in backyard, is too lazy to get up & investigate* *smells cookies baking at neighbors house, immediately goes over*
@Home_Halfway: ME: How much for this aggressive bottle of water? FIREFIGHTER: Sir that's a hydrant