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@CM2BTTHD: I just saw my 25-year-old son run water on a slice of pizza to cool it off. I need to sit down.
@_Kim_Jongun: I'm not a god. I'm a regular guy who just happens to be immortal and perfect in every way. There's a difference.
@jackiembouvier: Me: So, what are your thoughts? Therapist: Well, I think you may have some boundary issues. Me: [In his lap] Are you saying I'm fat?!