@WarrenHolstein: Save money this Halloween by utilizing last years' hobo costume to dress up as this year's federal employee.
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@TheThomason: Do I have a plan for the zombie apocalypse? I don't even have a battery in my smoke detector, and fire is real.
@kumailn: What a weird thing that a Presidential candidate is like "I tried to stab my friend" & his opponents are like "no you didn't."
@8bitgun: almost called my teacher "mom," but I caught myself after "mo" and added an "n." I had to pretend I was Jamaican for the rest of the year.
@breatheandlove: My mind has been wandering so long, we're pretty much in a long-distance relationship.