@WarrenHolstein: Save money this Halloween by utilizing last years' hobo costume to dress up as this year's federal employee.
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@aksorojas: sad day today because: 1. my fish in the aquarium is missing. 2. my cat won’t eat his dinner.
@CubanaMama82: The worst thing about dating is bringing a nice guy home after dinner, only to find your husband home early from work.
@jonnysun: i hate workimg at the lightbulb factory!! evrey day i hav to thimk of good ideas so they can harvest the lightbulbs that apear abov my head
@upsidedowntrash: [Shark Tank] Me: [holding tiny top] It's called Blouses For Mouses™ CEO: The plural of mouse is mice. M: Ok, Blice for Mice™ then whatever