@leechee420: Save some A's for the rest of the animal kingdom, aardvarks.
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@Aspersioncast: When a woman says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have just enough time to fly to space & finish building my Death Star before we go.
@koalaslament: the closest I've ever come to a threesome was when I was mowing the lawn and I got hit in the face by two dragonflies having sex in mid air
@McMcmadmac: My mothers nearly 80 and she still doesn't need glasses. She drinks right out of the bottle!
@runawaycupcake: The problem with the exclamation point & question mark being side by side on a keyboard: I'm so sorry your grandma died? I love you?