@ThisOneSayz: Save your voice calling for your kids. Just open a bag of chips and they'll materialize out of nowhere.
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@Rschooley: How dare Beyonce bring symbols of past racial strife into popular music performance!!
@sliver_of: I can't commit to plans with friends who wear fitbits. -"No, I don't want to take the stairs again, you psycho."
@sammyrhodes: If you've ever wondered which of your friends loved V for Vendetta, you're in luck today.