@sabre_squirrel: *saves dandruff for 7 years to throw as confetti at friends wedding that i never really liked*
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@AdamSerwer: In Trump's America, undocumented workers get rounded up. Employers who hire undocumented workers get cabinet nominations.
@TheTalkingPipe: My way or the highway. It takes two to tango. What I'm saying is, "welcome to idiom club". Now, let's cut to the chase.
@Jarhead44: I've always wanted a monkey, so I bought one at auction today. I've had him about an hour now. Anyway..... Monkey for Sale.
@OctopusCaveman: Some people have this weird super power where they smell like their shampoo for hours after showering.