@sabre_squirrel: *saves dandruff for 7 years to throw as confetti at friends wedding that i never really liked*
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@SpokeAna: Had a breakthrough with my therapist yesterday. Never seen a man cry like that before.
@Book_Krazy: Boss: It's almost quitting time. Drinks? Me: In my top desk drawer. Help yourself. Boss:...
@CulturedRuffian: I just danced like no Juan was watching, but he totally was and he cut off the tequila then threw me out of his restaurant you guys.