@sabre_squirrel: *saves dandruff for 7 years to throw as confetti at friends wedding that i never really liked*
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@BGH70: The company CEO gives a few words of personal appreciation each year at the holiday party. I got, "Oh, you're still here?"
@imteddybless: [cool person follows me] me: ok I gotta bring my A game now it's only good tweets from here me 5 mins later: horses r just big dogs ?
@Donna_McCoy: That's not a halo. It's the light at the end of the tunnel glowing behind me as I walk in the wrong direction.