@MamaFizzles: Saw 2 of my kids hugging and then realized they were choking each other and was like, ok, that makes more sense.
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@MonSwanson: I can't wait for my grandma to ask me repeatedly why I don't have a boyfriend "because I'm such a pretty girl". I'm a psycho, grandma.
@markhoppus: Me: A 3-hour movie?! Who does that?! Also me: I will now watch all 13 hours of this tv series in one sitting.
@GalaxyKate: Academic paper protip: end your Conclusion section with "just as the old woman in the forest predicted" or "in defiance of the prophecies"