@Northside_Mike: Saw a big girl wearing really short, shredded denim shorts. I'm going to assume those were jeans before she hulked out.
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@carlawh: When a woman suddenly shuts up, a man can hear the theme from Psycho discreetly playing in the background.
@DeanB15: I just smoked so much pot that I tried to order one of the dishes of food off the scrolling instagram menu.
@TurnpikeTony: I better fix the hinge on this cabinet door before Ryan Gosling comes over, takes his shirt off and builds my lady a house.
@VaDawn13: I have seagull managers. They swoop in, screech like hell, shit all over everything, then fly away.