@adam_bloomquist: Saw a billboard that said: Don't be distracted by driving and texting. Next one said: Don't be distracted by driving and reading billboards.
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@TheCatWhisprer: You know you're getting fat when you make a comment about needing to lose weight and the other person doesn't say anything back.
@Ristolable: I like telling people to "grow up" because even if they hate me I can visit them ten years later and say "Took my advice I see"
@EricaLynnz: Brb taking my potted plant for a walk "And that is tha sunshine, and this is another plant, you guys can't be friends he lives outside"