@adam_bloomquist: Saw a billboard that said: Don't be distracted by driving and texting. Next one said: Don't be distracted by driving and reading billboards.
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@Douchekevin: SHHHHH!!!!!!! I just got followed by a Jehovah Witness. All of you keep quiet and pretend we aren't home...
@PaperWash: GF: every time we fight you start interpretive dancing *i dance beautifully for 12 minutes* GF: I DONT KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
@minafisheyes: Facebook sent me a notification....unfortunately, my meth lab on Farmville blew up.
@ThePocketJustin: As a fan of Dirty Dancing I can only hope that when we go on holiday one of my daughters sleeps with a middle aged dance instructor.