@NotthatAdamWest: Saw a bumper sticker that said 'Jesus is the answer.' Two cars later I saw one that said 'Who farted?' Best game of Highway Jeopardy ever.
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@WoodyLuvsCoffee: I share an office thermostat with a middle aged woman. I'm in a t-shirt while she's rubbing 2 pencils together trying to start a trash fire
@CaseyMichelle__: Well if you didn't want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
@MUMSIEesq: My husband went camping w/ his buddies. He packed a hatchet, 2 liters of Jack & a 3yo's Hello Kitty sleeping bag. He's gonna die out there.
@thenatewolf: Netflix: we are the top online streaming service. Best in the world. Me: can I rewind 10 seconds without ruining everything? Netflix: no