@savvystrider: Saw a Chinese baby and a black kid wave at each other today. Gives me hope for the future. Or another Rush Hour movie.
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@celestinelea90: Was in the hot tub a full 3 minutes before I noticed the floating chipmunk so probably don't ask me questions about a crime scene
@ThingsJackDigs: “You a cop?” UNDERCOVER COP: No. “So you wouldn't mind if I … threw these donuts away?” UC: *sweats profusely*
@KeetPotato: kid dressed as dog: "trick or treat" me: wife: "give him some chocolate then" me: "i don't want to kill him linda"