@kamweru_: Saw a guy steal a car using a hanger so I did what any normal person would do, walked up to him & asked "You that guy from Grand Theft Auto?
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@Oh_God_Why_Me: Just told my driving instructor to put his seat belt ON for his safety. I'm definitely going to get the license this time.
@TrainedHedonist: Car trouble, miss? Allow me to squint, and posture heroically while staring at your labyrinthine engine as panic cascades through my spine.
@IGotsSmarts: My car broke down today. It confessed to a series of hit-and-run murders back in 2006.
@EricDumbTweets: I don't trust people who say "I married my best friend" because I don't think dogs can truly consent to marriage.