@CheryeDavis: Saw a guy walking down the street talking to himself, hand gestures and all...So I did the right thing, stopped and told him about Twitter.
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@panmidwest: [pulled over] ME: Ok, don't let him know you're an alligator COP: Sir, step out of the car & walk in a straight line ME: [exhale] thank God…
@meganamram: When singers at concerts hold out the mic for the audience to sing, it's like what am i, your maid
@DomesticGoddss: If it takes a village to raise a child, why are my neighbors sipping coffee peacefully on their front porch while I do all the work?