@CheryeDavis: Saw a guy walking down the street talking to himself, hand gestures and all...So I did the right thing, stopped and told him about Twitter.
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@mrtruthandsoul: [3 AM] 5yo: *sobbing* Daddy Me: Ughhh..yes, sweetheart, what's wrong? 5yo: I'm lonely... Me: Then, don't ever get married. 5yo: Ok, Daddy.
@daemonic3: [gf takes pregnancy test, starts crying] "It's negative" Lemme see it [reads] 'Not prego. Just fat. And ugly' Wow that's really negative