@VinnieLovelace: Saw a guy with a barcode tattoo on his neck. Scanned it with my RedLaser app & he couldn't believe I found him cheaper on 3 online stores
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@shutupmikeginn: air hand dryers are afraid of people and when you put your hands near them, well, thats them screaming.
@TwiCarlyGleeber: Girl likes 'boys with accents <333' on Facebook. I charge at her. "HELLOUGH!! I AM HELMUT, FROM RUSSIA. I WORK AS STRANGLER AT MEAT FACTORY"
@longwall26: I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.