@badbanana: Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
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@DaveWeasel: The words 'selfie' and 'twerk' have been added to the dictionary this year while 'charm' and 'dignity' have been removed.
@juliussharpe: People used to go all around the world for spices. That must have been underwhelming. "Guys, I've been gone three years and this is cumin."
@themiltron: god: go to earth jesus: why god: i have a plan jesus: is it a nice plan god: it's a plan