@badbanana: Saw a guy with flames tattooed all over his face. I hope someday he finds a girl who has marshmallows tattooed all over hers.
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@TheTweetOfGod: Jesus was white and spoke English and enjoyed baseball and apple pie and was a churchgoing Christian.
@DearAuntAbby: Your call is important to us, we'll interrupt calming music every 30secs for the next 20mins to remind you that your call is important to us