@iBrowniEd: Saw a Justin Bieber CD taped to a wall. You better believe I took it, you never know when you will need a piece of tape.
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@rickolantern: The worst is when you're on a cruise ship that turns into an Autobot to fight a sea monster and you had a decent game of shuffleboard going
@K_Chapacabra: Emoji: because sometimes a chicken, the Spanish flag, and a lesbian couple is the only way to express how you really feel.
@UncleDuke1969: Me: Damn dog is under the covers again! Wife: No she's not. She's next to the bed. Me: Oh. Wife: ... Me: Might be time to shave your legs.
@juliussharpe: Before you get married ask yourself: is this the person you want to watch stare at their phone the rest of your life?