@juanadog: Saw a sign on the highway that said "Kill or Injure a Road Worker: $7,500" but it doesn't tell me where to pick up the money...
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@GetCougarized: The best things in life are free. Like your neighbor's wifi, their morning paper & their liquor cabinet while they're away, for instance.
@Storminika: "We don't have iced coffee" Me: "You have coffee?" "Yes" Me: "You have ice?" "Yes" Me: "Were you raised in a barn?"
@AristotlesNZ: Me: I said no cookies! 4yo: I forgot. Maybe I have amnesia! Me: How'd you get amnesia? 4yo:.. Me:.. 4yo: I don't remember. Me: Well played..
@Jake_Vig: No, no, no, you don't have to engage in a long explanation of why you're single. We've spent five minutes together, I think I've got it.