@juanadog: Saw a sign on the highway that said "Kill or Injure a Road Worker: $7,500" but it doesn't tell me where to pick up the money...
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@tastefactory: Let's ask the Ouija board a question. Is my wife's meatloaf good? *pointer moves to NO* You see, Debra? No I did not move it myself
@fro_vo: me folding laundry: ugh another sock is missing puppet on my hand: how does that keep happening
@crunchenhancer: What's the difference between carbon monoxide and spouses? Carbon monoxide is a silent killer.