@Bearslietoo: Saw a squirrel get hit by a car earlier.Felt kinda bad,but I don't think the squirrel gave a shit that the Smart Car was totaled.
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@TheBoydP: Brain cancer from cell phones is no longer considered a risk because who holds their phone up to their head anymore?
@TheDairylandDon: A friend lectured me about going to see Star Wars alone, because "that's weird." As if chastising a grown man in a cloak is some normal shit
@dannylonglegs99: "Bro, rumor has it ur dads emo now" "Emo? Nah yo, EMU" "Im confused.." *A massive bird moonwalks in w/ a #1 Dad shirt* "Hi confused, Im Dad"