@Jandalize: Saw a teen couple buying condoms in the pharmacy so I let my grandbaby run around their feet & whispered 'that's the brand my daughter used'
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@Smooheed: I'm the kind of girl people don't look twice at Even when I hit them hard with a shopping trolley one, two, thr... Yep, now he's looking
@Rollinintheseat: Friend: "This is the year I'm going to marry my best friend." Me: "This is the year I'm going to train my dog to come when I call him."
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: Do you party? Me: Well I do schedule two nights a month that I stay up past 11pm. So yeah.
@Turbo_Jimmy: *Wife thumps door* "I KNOW UR IN THERE! U BLEW OUR SAVINGS ON A SHITTY INVENTION, DIDN'T U?!" NO! *furiously flushes 1000s of dog-tampons*