@Jandalize: Saw a teen couple buying condoms in the pharmacy so I let my grandbaby run around their feet & whispered 'that's the brand my daughter used'
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@slimmy_shady: Never eat ice cream while chatting online. Sister: why are you typing so slowly Me: well my other hands busy. She hasnt replied yet.
@darinlovesbacon: The Never Ending Story should've been a movie about a phone call from my Mother
@LunchJournals: "I'm a big fan of 50 cent. Or as he's known in Zimbabwe: four hundred million dollars."
@abbycohenwl: -You think I'd make a bad Private Eye 'cause I can't read body language? I will prove you wrong! -Sir, you're talking to the murder victim