@Jandalize: Saw a teen couple buying condoms in the pharmacy so I let my grandbaby run around their feet & whispered 'that's the brand my daughter used'
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@AGreaterMonster: My mom sent me a two paragraph email to inform me that she had called customer service and received $17 off her flight to see me.
@kellymcc0y: When someone spaces out their "ha ha ha's" in a text I read it in Count Dracula's voice
@bombscribe: I just unlocked the "My House Was Robbed Because I Checked in on Foursquare" badge on Foursquare!
@WheelTod: I hate it when you turn up to a Klan rally and some other guy is wearing the same dress.