@roadsidephil: Saw a "Toby Keith's I Love This Bar" that went out of business. Apparently he was the only one.
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@ImFordTough: Pretty awesome how you can buy chocolates on February 13th and everyone assumes you have a girlfriend & not a grudge w/ your neighbor's dog.
@werehedgehog: Don't go chasing waterfalls. *turns on tap* We have their children. They will come to us.
@ghostkrogh: Cowboys would still be alive today if they hadn't shot all of their spare bullets in the air after winning one gunfight.
@NYC_Blonde: Why do cars slow down when they see a cop has pulled someone over? HE'S A LITTLE BUSY TO WORRY ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW DUMMIES