@zachreinert03: Saw a TV at the dumpster with a sign that said 'free TV' and boy do I feel stupid, I paid $200 for the last TV sitting at a dumpster
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@lasergirl70: On Valentine's evening I usually stay in and watch a romantic movie. You know, like American Psycho.
@liv_thatsme: Some guy just tried to pay me for a Craigslist item with a check,but I'm not stupid. I made him pay me with a cold, hard, American $15 bill.
@Mostly_Cheese: Me: Mark from Boston, you’re on the air. Therapist: You pretend to be a radio host to avoid confrontation. M: Let’s take another call.
@emmkaff: Scientists: Don't freak out about Ebola. Everyone: *Panic!* Scientists: Freak out about climate change. Everyone: LOL! Pass me some coal.