@zachreinert03: Saw a TV at the dumpster with a sign that said 'free TV' and boy do I feel stupid, I paid $200 for the last TV sitting at a dumpster
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@dariatbh: I hope all the friends I've made in the bathroom at 1am are still SO pretty and everything worked out with that boy they were drunk texting
@better_off_dad: *Do you wish to send? *Are you sure? *For real? *Have you been drinking? *Really? *What time is it? ~How my send button should function
@CanadianCyn: Mom: You need to get a hobby. Me: Like photography? Mom: I don't think stalking the garbageman is a hobby.
@IcyAndSpicy: Saw a tweet about foods to help your sex life. I need sex to help my sex life, not food.