@donni: Saw a werewolf at the bus stop this morning. Or possibly just a very hairy guy. Either way, the silver bullets worked.
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@weinerdog4life: Sorry I ate your frisbee bro, I thought it was a tortilla, I like to eat tortillas I find at the park.
@iamspacegirl: me: Baby shark doo doo doo doo doo doo baby shark doo doo doo doo doo baby shark! Mommy shark doo doo- Other people on life raft: please stop
@better_off_dad: Therapist: ‘Sarcasm will get you nowhere.’ Me: ‘Actually, it got me to the National Sarcasm Championship game in Las Vegas back in 98.’ Therapist: ‘Really?’ Me: ‘No.’