@John_M15: Saw an article on Facebook that a local bank was robbed. It had one like. They should probably look at that person as the robbery suspect.
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@JElvisWeinstein: "And if all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you make up a story about jumping off a bridge too?"-- Teen Brian Williams' mother
@ibid78: I just got an eyelash in my eye and I'm yelling at it cuz it's supposed to prevent this shit from happening like, "YOU ONLY HAVE ONE JOB."
@TheHyyyype: [third date] ME: i want you to meet my parents HER: uhh, don't you think it's a little too early for that? ME: nah, it's after 7, they should be home by now