@MattOswaltVA: saw girl I have crush on with her new fiance at Ikea but you know what they say, when God closes a Stǿrås Innjørdën he opens a Főnstǝrviviǵ
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@jwoodham: Ostriches would be scary as hell if they could fly or if they had arms, but they can't and they don't, so here we are. Stupid land birds.
@Izianikapani: Sue from work says putting zucchini in her brownie makes it incredibly moist. I told Sue I've had similar successes.
@BuckyIsotope: I've only been eating 6 spiders instead of 8 every year so I'll have plenty for retirement.