@runolgarun: saw someone spill their high end juice cleanse all over the sidewalk and now I know god is on my side
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@BackrowSeats: Burger King's slogan "Have It Your Way" was shortened from "Are You Sure You Wanna Eat This? Ok. Have It Your Way".
@SteveKoehler22: Our daughter ran away from home once when she was a teenager. We were frantic. Within months, we called the police to report her missing.
@NicestHippo: WIFE: He thinks he's a news anchor DOCTOR: Is this true ME: [stacking papers & talking inaudibly as the camera zooms out]
@MrMichaelRose: my lawyer wants me to turn myself into the police but I keep telling him impersonating a cop is what got me into trouble in the first place