@daveexplosm: Saw the trailer for Life Of Pi. Why are they making a Calvin & Hobbes movie in 2013?
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@WaltzingRhino: E-Mail: Drive her wild in the bedroom. Me: Feh...I'll drive her wild in the kitchen *Re-arranges the dishwasher.
@UncleDuke1969: [loud bar] Her: I have to urinate Me: What? H: Urinate M: What? H: URINATE! M: Well, YOU'RE a 10! H: Huh? No! You're like a 5. I gotta pee.
@panmidwest: [ping pong] ME: 3 to 2, my serve JESUS: M: can I have the ba- J: the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve M: [exhales] every time
@NicestHippo: "Can you explain this Gap in your work history?" Yes that's when I worked for the popular clothing retailer