@SciencePorn: Saw this cutie pie on the side of the highway this morning
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@jessienope: religious? why yes i'm very religious, i'm always reading [glances at bible] the beeblay
@Douchekevin: She blindfolded me and said she was going to put heaven on my lips. I asked what kind of pizza it was. I woke up outside with a concussion
@alexjmann: You should marry the first person who can understand what you're saying while you brush your teeth.