@julietactually: Saw this lady taking pics of stuff and I was like your camera is facing the wrong way, psycho
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@CDMEclairs: Angry Birds for Olympics: Instead of hitting two birds with one stone, here you can hit two stones with one bird.
@Coastiefish: This guy says he rides a bike 20 miles a day, and then runs 5 miles a day too. Yo bro, you gotta get a car.
@WheelTod: [Date] Him: I don't trust myself around you Her(flirtatiously): Oh, stop Him: I bought an iPad on your credit card when you went to bathroom