@noog: *opens facebook messenger*
*sips mtn dew twice*
*strokes neckbeard*
*begins typing*
Sorry abt ur mom dying
Tis a shame
Btw ur attractive
@Cheeseboy22: When I die, I'd like my coffin to be filled with Reese's Pieces so on my headstone it can say "R.I.R.P."
@david8hughes: [at the mall]
"Excuse me? I lost my son. Can I please make an announcement?"
"Of course."
[leans in to mic]
"Goodbye you little shit."
@mugkip: i've always struggled spelling out "blood" with my fingers because it always comes out looking like "bbool"
@dressingperfect: some girls have will power to get up an hour early for class to contour and sometimes I wonder if a shower is worth losing 20 mins of sleep
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