@jake_likes_naps: Say goodbye to your girlfriends cause I just bought a book on magic tricks
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@LizHackett: I could host an elegant dinner party, but I don't know enough people with simmering tension over long-held secrets to make it worthwhile.
@ZackBornstein: Doctor: I'm sorry, but your Dad's in a coma. Teen: Huh? Doctor: He's in airplane mode now. Teen: OHHH NOOOOO!!