@spookyskeletons: SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND *holds up a cat*
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@WheelTod: *Prosecution points to badger*: Objection! This animal has no place in court! Defense: Your honor, the badger is prosecuting the witness
@WilliamRodgers: If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
@MarfSalvador: [Watching the sunset over Paris] BF: My darling *goes down on one knee* GF: OH MY GOD!! BF: THIS is how I proposed to my last girlfriend
@Ndeshi_M: I told all my colleagues at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I don't have to talk to them.