@juanadog: Say, hypothetically, I was stuck in an air vent over a dressing room at Lane Bryant. What kind of legal issues am I dealing with?
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@Iwriteforcats: Me: How much should I spend on an engagement ring? Jeweler: 3 months salary on the stone. Me: *Duct tapes pile of Fruity Pebbles together.
@sickipediabot: My wife suffers from chronic, debilitating headaches. Anyway, enough about her... ...back to drum practice.
@TySmithdrums: Thousands of religions and you're damned if you choose incorrectly? There must be people in Hell asking,"So! What religion are you in for?"
@HavocMantis: *goes in bank with finger guns* This is a robbery! "no one'll take you seriously-" *switches to double barrel finger guns* "do what he says"