@RobElliottComic: Say "Literally" and "Legit" a few more times in that sentence so I know it's literally legit
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@WilliamAder: The only thing left for CNN to do is drop Wolf Blitzer in the Indian Ocean and see how long it takes to find him.
@Cool_Jesse: That's the last time I follow some dude into the woods just because he tells me he's a wizard.
@PaperWash: [calls work] I'm sorry I can't come into work today "is everything alright?" [getting owned in an argument on YouTube] no
@TheHyyyype: SURGEON: *cutting open patient's torso* NURSE: sir, what are you doing?! this is a knee replacement! SURGEON: there's a Pokémon in there