@RobElliottComic: Say "Literally" and "Legit" a few more times in that sentence so I know it's literally legit
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@Rollmaninoz: Boss: ok just bear with me *I growl and start clawing the air* B: wtf are you doing Me: I..You said.. B:first ‘snail mail’ now this..Just go
@AmishPornStar1: Seriously joggers?! You're gonna run and carry on a conversation at the same time? And I'm all outta breath just finishing this McMuffin!!!
@kumailn: Life hack: Stare into your Uber driver's eyes through the rear view mirror the entire time.