@Marlebean: "Say TGIF ONE more time" I say, scowling at my coworker with no children, "Go ahead, say it again."
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@lovejulieayn: Snoop Dogg; Shake what'cha momma gave you. Me; Ummm... ok. <vigorously shakes a frozen lasagna>
@tat2dsoccermom: My boyfriend said he wanted me to be more affectionate, so now I have TWO boyfriends.
@TitansHomer: How do Mexicans cut their pizza? With Little Ceasars *drops mic, Harlem shakes off stage*
@TheCatWhisprer: Just Friends is my favorite movie that shows fat guys how to get out of the friendzone through perseverance and becoming Ryan Reynolds.