@Marlebean: "Say TGIF ONE more time" I say, scowling at my coworker with no children, "Go ahead, say it again."
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@RandomManik: Every crime show turns into sitcom when the cops bring the husband for questioning and he asks, "Why would anyone want to kill their wife?"
@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes Watched all Star Wars movies back to back with my friend. Luckily I was the one facing the TV.
@sock_holliday: The person that invented toilet paper is easily the most under-appreciated hero in human history