@Marlebean: "Say TGIF ONE more time" I say, scowling at my coworker with no children, "Go ahead, say it again."
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@pmann555: They say it's not the destination, it's the journey.........Except when you're heading to the bathroom with diarrhea...
@HatfieldAnne: “As the crow flies” means something entirely different when it's “in your living room” and you are “hiding in the closet with your cat.”
@notacroc: RIDDLER: how'd you find my hideout? BATMAN: a little birdie told me *winks* SMALL BIRD MAN: *lands on his shoulder* please use my full name
@just1fool: After years of failure, the "scientist" that had been trying to create a fake urine nearly went mad after he drank his first Miller Lite.