@sammyrhodes: Saying a prayer for all the turkeys tomorrow. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
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@myles_morrison: Kids having the best time ever sound exactly the same as kids being axe-murdered.
@Fred_Delicious: if you're ever worried there's an intruder in your house, shout 69 down the stairs. if no one laughs, there's no one there
@KKAlThani: My personal trainer told me to listen to my body at the gym so I punched him in the face and went to get some ice cream.