@sammyrhodes: Saying a prayer for all the turkeys tomorrow. Also the single people with concerned relatives.
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@XLCadillac: [job interview] “Why should I hire you?” “Because I have pictures of you with a goat?”
@SarcasticCharm: Drank enough whiskey to talk the husband into a Titanic reenactment. He's laying in the snow and I won't share the picnic table with him.
@pizzajaynow: When a Jehovah Witness dies, Heaven turns off all the lights and pretends no one is home.
@AimeeHelene1: *rolls grocery cart into open house* Ooh what a lovely lamp! *puts it in cart* An iPad! *crosses iPad off shopping list* *puts it in cart*