@TheDreamGhoul: saying monkeys r ur favorite animal is basically saying u like a shorter, hairier version of urself who can only communicate by screaming
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@SerialFuckup: Today's life lesson: "I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing them off is a piece of cake."
@deenasjoint: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.
@badbanana: Man of Steel question. When young Clark Kent was wearing a cape in the yard, who was he pretending to be? Liberace?
@OhYeahILied: "I'm not a violent person but people can change", I whisper as someone takes a bite of my food.