@Sarcasticsapien: Saying "to each his own" is the best way to tell someone you respect their right to have an extremely stupid opinion.
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@WilliamAder: While I fully intended to "sleep my way to the top," it appears I've napped my way to the middle.
@corysnearowski: My wife is upset we can't afford a vacation this year because I kept paying the kids to behave while I was driving
@AimeeHelene1: Sick of obnoxious ring tones in the office, so I've set mine to the sound of a girl screaming (horror movie style).